Dear Diary
Highlights from my journal while running a 6-week pop up in San Francisco
I had the ambitious idea to keep a journal while I moved to Bernal Heights, San Francisco, CA, to run a retail Swedish candy pop-up that served hot dogs on the weekends.
Nothing about this adventure was conventional, including the time we had to get things up and running. With a 3-week runway, the team I worked with flipped a vacant bike shop into a whimsical Swedish candy store, with butter yellow walls, cobalt blue candy shelves, a vintage white floor, and a giant Hej Hej mural behind a tool bench that served as the checkout counter. I rushed-ordered hundreds of pounds of Swedish candy, imported snacks, and hot dog and strawberry-themed merchandise. I (begrudingly) purchased a second set of everything needed to run an outdoor hot dog operation. It didn’t take long for me to regret not driving my car out and bringing my supplies with me.
I hit pause on my life in Albuquerque, NM, and lined up the perfect place to stay (thank you, Pablito!) just a block away from the shop. We had targeted a 7-week run time, but if you know pop-ups, you know they can be unpredictable and end abruptly. I went into this thinking I understood what it would take to run the store, but there's a big difference between envisioning a retail store and living it every day. Juggling unpacking delayed candy shipments during opening hours, managing a roster of employees who constantly cancelled, fielding customer questions I didn’t have the answer to, and planning/ prepping for weekend food, all had me learning on the fly. It wasn't always graceful, but it was the crash course in business I needed without full risk of a permanent brick and mortar.
Here are a few snippets from my journal during my time on Cortland Ave.
Sunday, March 29th, arrive in San Francisco - store opening pushed to 4/9
I landed in San Francisco at 8 am, which was a feat in itself because I had crippling anxiety the night before I was set to leave and considered changing my flight to the later option. This “performance” anxiety, I’ll call it, has happened to me several times since I started working in food. I can’t quite pin down what it’s about. Maybe a combination of knowing the physical labor I’m about to get myself into, the imposter syndrome, or that, in combination with a full moon?! Flying into SFO is one of my favorite feelings. I get hit with a strong nostalgia for San Francisco every time - I really miss living here. I shake it off and remind myself that I’m capable of creating a life where I get to enjoy both San Francisco and New Mexico, and that’s exactly what I’m actively doing. I checked into my studio and unpacked within 20 minutes. I strolled up and down Cortland Ave, but it was a sleepy Sunday. I regretted not driving my car out to CA from NM. I looked up the cost of Ubering to visit a friend for brunch, and cringed at the $70 each way price tag. I did it anyway. Even though it’s only been eight months since I moved and I’ve had many work trips, the cost of San Francisco hits me hard each time I’m here. I went home and forced myself to take a look at my business accounts.
My business credit card balance was at a whopping $9,000, and I had $1,560 in my business checking account. I owed $1,500 to the person I was renting my studio from. One of my friends sweetly asked me if I had any money in my personal checking account. That account hadn’t seen money since January of 2025! I had never let my business card get higher than $3,000, and I always paid in full. I knew I had been front-loading a lot of expenses ahead of this trip, including candy, hot dogs, buns, equipment, flights, new merch, some items for the candy store build-out (hotel pans, lids, scoops), and many more items. It didn’t help. I am officially freaked the f out that I’m going to be in the red at the end of this.
Tuesday, March 31st
“Forgot to journal, but I ordered a Señor Sisig burrito for dinner and went through my financial projections, and even though it looked grim, it was better to know”. ☠️ I love my honesty here. If you journal and you skip a day, you'd better write down that you’re doing a retroactive entry, or you might not know. PS. Señor Sisig never hits for me. PPS. Grim? A little dramatic.
Friday, April 3rd
Garrett’s been out here for a couple of days at this point. The store was originally going to open on Thursday, April 2nd, and he was going to be here to be my right-hand person for the opening weekend. Even though we had to push back a week, Garrett came out with suitcases full of things I had forgotten in Albuquerque anyway - what a gem! We tried to make the best use of his rental car and get organized over the few days he was here, but I have to admit, it would have really been nice to have him there for the actual opening weekend. He had obligations back home that he had to get back to. I am really starting to fall in love with Bernal at this point. Having someone to explore with makes such a huge difference. This morning, on a walk through Holly Park, I saw a metal dragonfly sculpture that’s been there since 2004. It felt like such a strong sign, considering Dragonflies are 100% my spirit animal, and I moved to SF on a whim after drawing a dragonfly card at a full moon ceremony in 2020. I love seeing them because I actually don’t see them super often, so I always know it means something special.
Tuesday, April 7th - Two days to opening
My anxiety was at an all-time high today. So many voice notes sent to friends to help me stabilize, haha. I can be pretty hard on myself and create scenarios that are really far from the truth. After deeming myself 100% incapable of successfully running this operation, I worked through the anxiety, one step at a time. I started to move all of the items to the store and unpacked everything. Big mistake waiting until two days before opening to look at everything myself, and I had been out here for almost eight days at this point. The hotel pan lids for the candy bins had spoon slots on them, which I didn’t want, and I was worried would dry out the candy. The white paper bags had a resin on the coating, and the Hej Hej stamp wouldn’t dry, getting ink everywhere. I realized I hadn’t bought anything to really “run” the candy store. Cleaning supplies, price tags, markers, paper towels, trash bags, a mop, rags, a chair to sit on - the list goes on. I had no extra items for merchandising,or filling the shelves, or the retail main table. I was so focused on getting candy, hot dog pop-up ingredients, and putting together other operations that I had completely forgotten to consider how the store would look visually. A quick SOS to my friend Lauren, who made plans to come tomorrow with cookbooks, candles, acrylic bins/jars, party favor bags from her wedding, and even her own fiddle leaf fig. LIFESAVER!
Wednesday, April 8th - One day before opening
Everyone keeps asking me if I’m having so much fun. Is it depressing that I haven’t had any fun until today? I take things so seriously that it’s hard for me to be in the moment. How cool is it that I get an opportunity like this, to see Hej Hej come alive in a brick and mortar, work with a great team, in an amazing neighborhood, in my favorite city? And that it could lead to a permanent opportunity. Today, I finally had a little pinch-me moment.
Thursday, April 23rd - Two weeks without journaling
Slow day, felt behind, felt low. Felt like a failure. Can’t explain it. Just a hard day.
Friday, April 24th
People want salty licorice, like a lot of it! I can’t get it in bulk other than a variety or two, and I’m not sure why - there seems to be such a big demand. Another thing I’ve noticed is that people want things they can get again and again - they don’t like to switch it up as much as I do. I want to test a lot of different candies during this time that I wouldn’t normally get to order when I’m just selling my own individually packed bags online or at pop-ups. Customers are obsessed with Swedish fish, which is a little surprising to me, also, because it’s not something I associate with a childhood of Swedish candy. Candy stores / retail stores are great because you’re getting real-time feedback all day long, just by selling product and talking to people.
Sunday, May 3rd - quick trip to Albuquerque
Today, I flew home for a quick three-night trip to New Mexico. It’s the first time I’ve been home since March 29th, and I felt guilty for doing it. I had an employee who was able to work the store nearly five times, so I fully trusted her to close up for me today so that I could catch a 7 pm flight. For the first time, I stepped into the customer’s view and made myself a bag of bulk candy for the plane. I found at least ten things that could be improved during that process (Sunday afternoons are busy), but it was time to leave. As the car drove away, I had the heaviest sinking feeling that I had forgotten something extremely important. It felt entirely unnatural to drive away from the store, something I had been at for 10-12 hours a day for the last month. Is this what leaving babies feels like?!
This was the last time I thoughtfully journaled for my experience in Cortland. The last two weeks of the pop were insanity. I stacked myself so high with closing weekend events and special pop-up guests, a massive Swedish sandwich cake order for a local housewarming party, and moving out of my studio mid-way through the weekend. The store was gaining popularity week over week, and had almost 600 people come through in one day! I lost my voice for the first time - I’ve always felt left out when people get a raspy, sexy voice.
To say it was a raging success would be an understatement. And I’m not talking financially, which it was, but in lessons learned and people met. There are one million things I could add to this post, but it would turn into a novel. I walked away with enough money to get my credit card to $0, buy a ticket to Sweden to visit my family for Midsommar (and research hot dogs and candy, duh), pay my quarterly taxes, pay my rent, and have some free cash flow to carry me to the next job. That’s all a girl could want!
After all, I’m just. a. girl!
Thanks for reading, as always 🍓
Amelia